I got up this morning like every day lately feeling kinda ughhh and thinking of the five thousand things that needed to be done but wasn't sure just how they would all get done in time. I decided to make a pit stop at my office and just take a quick look at a couple of the blogs that I read on a daily basis and although that is not normally what I do to start my day I now understand why God had me do that today.
I am soooooo guilty of feeling overwhelmed and allowing myself to get stressed out for no real reason. Chad tells me all the time "it will all get done, I don't know why you stress so much" he is the layed back one and I am the "it has to be done NOW " one. Not necessarily the best attribute to have and not the worst but I think for me I needed a serious wake up call. Today God gave that to me. I read today of a woman who has decided that it's time to stop the treatments and let GOD do whatever is best for her life that she is done fighting the cancer and if it is her time to go meet her saviour that fine she is ready. Such faith, such surrender such love.......I read of another friend who to me is the true example of what a Southern Christian Lady would be like state that in church Sunday they were speaking of the "the STORY" the real reason this season is suppose to be celebrated. Yeah it really isn't about the gifts and what you spend or don't spend it's about the fact that God's son was born and later gave his life for OUR sins so that we might have eternal life in heaven. The way she wrote of how God spoke to her it was like looking into her heart...it was beautiful. I feel so honored to know these people and receive glimpses into there lives and to feel such inspiration and warmth and love from them.
This year for Christmas Chad and I didn't really decorate I just didn't have the energy to put everything up and to be honest all I care/cared about was just getting ready for Gracie to arrive. There is a lot to do and a lot to prepare for BUT I think I will look at it differently. For me the best Christmas gift has been Gracie. We didn't know if there would EVER be a baby and now we have this precious little miracle coming and instead of enjoying the thrill of it I allow the stress to take over and push the excitement out of the way.
I was told having a baby would change you in ways you can't imagine. I believe that simply because it already has changed me. I want so much more for her than I ever had. I was her to have a Daddy that is active and there and present...a protector and provider. I want to show her that marriage can be a wonderful thing if both people have there eyes set on GOD and follow his plan for the way it should be. I want to remember that WORDS do hurt and when angry I want to do my best to turn away and NOT say that thing that will hurt her or affect her self-esteem, I want to show her that as a woman you can do anything and be anything. Maybe not wait as long as mom did to achieve it but none the less you can do it. lol
I also want to show her the side of what joy there is in being a mom, wife, and taking care of the home. What pleasure there is in loving GOD enough to let him lead you on the path meant for you. I can never show her perfection because I am far from perfect......but being able to say your sorry when you hurt someone, helping others when they are down and loving GOD with all that is in you. Those are the important things....
I will never expect her to be perfect but I pray that she always knows she is loved and no matter what mistakes she may or may not make she will be loved and accepted by us.
As her mommy I already know she will achieve HUGE things,,,,after all she has been in the hands of my Granny Parker and has listened to her whispered secrets of how to get through things. She comes with an advantage and many kisses and hugs. She also talked with her cousin that she won't get to talk to here and I can just about bet he has many words of advice to share with her.
So as I stop stressing and prepare for this little blessing I will remember these women who GOD used as a gentle reminder to appreciate life for what it is and trust him for the rest. This mommy is going to take it one day at a time.....while I am at it..thank GOD everyday for Chad and Gracie. Life is good and I am blessed and need to say "Thank you" more.
Merry Christmas to all of you .....May you be blessed in this New Year to come!
Love to you all,